Those of us who recall the glory days of electronic gaming hold a special place in our hearts for pinball machine tables, and it was only a matter of time before pinball sims started showing up on the iPhone. Oddly enough, some of them are curiously unlike the old mechanical machines that had their hayday in the seventies and early eighties.

The best of the iPhone bunch, however, is a straight-up table simulation called Wild West Pinball. This game serves up a delightful pinball experience, themed with elements of the old west, like a goldmine jackpot, a bank robbery jackpot, and a cute mini-game where you get to “shoot Dirty Harry” with the ball when it hits a mission activator on one side of the table.  This game is stupidly addictive, and I’ve no doubt that, along with its fairly liberal tilt feature, it’s the best free game on the iPhone. 

Pinball Dreaming, on the other hand, is a direct, authentic port of the slower, less-realistic classic Amiga game Pinball Dreams.  There’s a touch of the nostalgic in this game, too, but unlike Wild West Pinball, the Pinball Dreams game’s nostalgia comes from the nifty old-school Amiga music and 2D, vertical-scrolling pinball table, a trademark of Amiga pinball sims back in the early nineties. The paid version of this game includes the four original pinball tables included with Pinball Dreams.

We also took a look at Smallball Pinball, which is sort of a hybrid between a pinball sim and a puzzle game, though we found this implementation a bit frustrating.  It doesn’t feel like Arkanoid, and it doesn’t feel like pinball.  As you advance through the levels, the biggest motivator is not losing your ball and retreating the previous level.  So there’s not a hugely compelling reason to keep playing. That and the physics–which are neither like Breakout nor like a pinball table.

For our money, Wild West is the best pinball sim for the iPhone.

Tags: amiga, pinball, pinball dreaming, pinball dreams, wild west

Well, the app store has been on line for a while now, and we’ve seen the good, the bad, the ugly, and the just plain silly.  It’s amazing to watch the skills of iPhone coders–and to note the range in quality from really useful all the way down to absolutely goofy. Here’s our list of the 10 goofiest (or most useless) iPhone apps.

10. Polo Ralph Lauren Collection - As if it’s not painful enough shopping for overpriced clothing! The one good thing about this app is that, unlike the pink, too-small golf shirts that are so popular right now, it’s free.  For those without a Ralph Lauren store in the neighborhood, of course.

9. Cooking Mama for iPhone - One of the killer app launch titles for the Nintendo Wii console a few years ago, Cooking Mama Cook-Off was fun simply because of its immensely pleasing absurdity.  The laughably poor English voice recordings in the game almost singularly made it worth playing, at least in our book. Gone from the iPhone version are the Engrish voices as well as most of the fun.  Oh, and the game is easy to beat in just under an hour.  Serious Cooking Mamas need not download this waste of time. PETA’s ridiculous parody of the title is ostensibly more fun–though not by much.

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Tags: app store, apps, dumb, fake text, iphone, ipity, pointless, software, stupid, useless

It seems there’s no shortage of racing games for the iPhone.  The tilt control alone makes for a very Wii-like racing experience on the iPhone and iPod Touch. In fact, we keep hoping somebody will do an Excite Truck clone for the iPhone. Excite Truck is, in my opinion, still the best game for the Wii.

But in the meantime, we’ll settle for Aqua Moto Racing Lite, a unique offering that simulates misty, tropical jet-skiing races. The developer bills it as the ultimate test of your jet-skiing skills.  In lieu of heading to south Florida for some real-life jet ski action, we’ll take it.

Tags: fun, games, iphone, ipod touch, jet ski, racing, software

Digital Illusions’ classic (and I stress classic) pinball simulation for teh Amiga–Pinball Dreams–has been resurrected to amazing effect on the iPhone/iPod Touch.  Serious gamers will remember burning many, many hours during the nineties play what many argue is the greatest Amiga game of all time.  $5.99 on the app store.  Now go play pinball.

Tags: amiga, appstore, games, iphone, pinball, pinball dreams, software

If you’ve got the 99-cent treasure, Amazing X-Ray FX, from the app-store, you’ve got all the bar-side, friend-fooling silly-ness you’ll need.  But you still won’t be able to shoot video or photo-message with your iPhone.

Completely fool your friends into thinking your iPhone or iPod touch doubles as an amazingly cool hand X-Ray machine.

Be blown away by just how realistic the X-Ray looks, an effect achieved by a multi-layering technique of ultra hi-res Xray images, subtly moving in 3D like phased sync with real-time movements you control (accelerometer sensor based).

You will swear this is the real deal.

Wow. We’re sold.  I’m going to download this one right now.  This should be a huge hit with the junior high school set.

Tags: appstore, fun, fx, games, iphone, jokes, x-ray